My photo
Kitchener, Ontario, Canada
welcome to my corner of the web where i am happy to share my memories, interests & ideas, music and everyday thoughts about whatever comes into my life... While you're at this website All music, concepts, ideas & "dextrosoundlab" images (C)dextrosoundlab2010/socan/ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Saturday, February 27, 2010

FX preferences: digital & analogue; stompboxes & multiFX

My favorite subject, as you may well know if you read this blog....but I am not worried whether or not this blog is read now or not, it's just nice to have somewhere to vent and discuss these things I like, even if it's just me and the blog wall!
For the past two days I unplugged all my single effect stompbox type pedals, just to see what life would be like if i only used my BOSS VF-1 24bit multi-effect processor, which is a half rack orange box that is amazing....however it's difficult to tweak settings on the fly, even with Midi controllers like my Behringer FCB-1010 midi pedalboard.
I was sending my guitar signal into the VF-1, then the ART tubeMP preAmp, and then the DBX163x compressor, and the final result was a vivid, real tone on all patches i made...where i set the virtual amplifiers and played with delay's & pitch shifters...all in all it's great, as long as I have time to fiddle.
Today, i plugged the stompboxes back in and took the Boss VF-1 out of the signal chain...
leaving me with :
guitar->electroHarmonix Qtron envelope filter->danelectro FUZZ->BOSS DS-1 distortion->danelectro DRiVE->Boss rc-20xl loopstation->recording rig

NOW, for playing live, improvised stuff, this is the way to go....of course you need to fiddle with volume settings on everything prior to performance, but once that's done, you can drift away into your musical la-la land, using your feet to turn off and on pedals as your jam progresses...building up swells, and fading's just so darn natural feeling..

The quest for tone goes on, and I am busy today fiddling about, making loud noises, and distorting the nature of sound...

reporting back on the Yamaha JX-15 amplifier....

If you scroll down a few posts you will see the same photo of the same amplifier: the Yamaha JX-15 circa 1980 Solid State analogue guitar amplifier.
Now that I have taken some time and care to clean out the connections and pots(knobs) I am happy to say this is one heck of a unique sounding amplifier...I don't know if there is something wrong with it or what? All i know is that at any volume this sucker reacts in a most pleasing way!
I am especially happy with the modulated sound that is produced at the highest gains, a real breakup of sound as it emerges from the speaker....and at the same time the solid state electronics keep the tone clean, and not harsh.
I can see why the JX series was used for Jazz least that's what i read on the internet....the clean tone is perfect....i even like plugging my guitar directly into the amp without effects, cranking up the input 'volume' and keeping the main volume at 9'o'clock position, cut back the treble and boost the bass slightly....and then there is even reverb!!! I just am not sure which type it is....I doubt it's digital, but maybe...a cheap 12 bit digital reverb by todays standards was state of the art in 1980....maybe it's a long analogue 'bucket brigade' circuit made to emmulate a reverb effect....i wish i knew what to look for under the hood, but if it isn't a spring reverb, i just won't know.
I am hoping that by writing about my amplifier, i will be motivated to get out of my bedroom and into my studio room to power up and have some fun.
Next time i am going to start talking about Sound Synthesis and the state of the modern Synthesizer.
until then!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

dissolve me

iam idling down this razors edge, this flavor in my mind, a desire for my own time, rewind, a life seen from inside a cage -
-savior; reinvented moods elated crisp, turned pages scream out but no sound, nobody's around, and temptation meets my crumpled frustration as others crawl and sprawl wrapped amongst the dead, I am alive, but how? survive this time of deceit, believe the tongues that speak of desperate fusion & music's relentless pulsating, throbbing like a sexual demon, do you care? i do but don't but can't and won't betray your trust, at last sincerity remains, the dead speak to children running past me, having been there before in youth i couldn't translate, but now i can relate, and in my own desperate measure, a long lasting fast that left me hollow, retreating, defeated, facing the momentary lapse of treason, this scrambled egg breakfast of words has dissolved me like the grains & water in my spoon, cooked and extracted, tie off & inject, to cure what ails & sideline this byline i am out of time, i am out of time, i am out of time.


Monday, February 22, 2010

guitar RiG!

Guitar "RiGs" are as personal to a musician as his private parts are to a human! And I am no present Effects RiG is as follows:
Ibanez GAX-30jb guitar
->ART tubeMP (vacuum tube preAmplifier)
->BOSS VF-1 24Bit-Digital Studio Multi-Effects Processor
->ElectroHarmonix Qtron envelope Filter
->Danelectro FUZZ
->Danelectro DRiVE
->BOSS DS-1 Distortion
->DigiTECH rp-50 (wahwah & Harmonizer/Whammy)+ Casio VP-2 Expression Pedal
->Boss RC-20XL LoopStation (Loop sampler pedal)

Then the signal can go through the Roland VS-840 Digital Audio Workstation into the Roland CDX-1 Digital Sampler/Multi-track Recorder, and further still to be captured on the Sony MDS-Je510 studio mini disc recorder....monitoring the whole time via a vintage Kenwood KA-2002 power amplifier and Sony SS-78 speakers...
just feed that signal to the Kiel Model-300 tube combo amp, or the Orange Micro-crush amp, or the Yamaha JX-15 amp....

I like to make sure i have many options, that is helpful during the creative process.
sitting on the sidelines is alot of useful gear which will be creeping into the mix sooner or later....

-DBX 163x compressor/Limiter (i have a pair of these half rack wonders!!!)
-ALTO alphaCOMP digital compressor modules (and I have a pair of these as well!!!)
-Behringer UltraFEX II - two channel sound Enhancer
-ElectroHarmonix PolyPHASE
-MXR Blue Box

and I am considering buying the Behringer ULTRAFEX Exciter/Enhancer, also two channels like the one I already have. I am looking to try an exciter for low frequency processing, a way to liven up the really low sounds, and i like Behringer's rackmount gear from 5 years ago and more....I don't know about the pedals and such nowadays, but i used to own a rack piece called "UltraCurve Pro" and it was awesome!!!! I was broke and had to pay bills so I sold it, but I'd say it was competition for TC electronic's Finalizer , and in my opinion Mastering music was never so fun as with the Behringer UltraCurve Pro....programming options went as deep as you would want or need to go, and I mastered a few albums I was hired to engineer, giving me the extra pay since they didn't have to take the mixdown tapes elsewhere for 'mastering'.

All this typing about effects and processing makes me hot & bothered, something only an intimate friend, or an electric guitar can solve!!!!!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

guitar music for the soul.....

Growing up as a teenage boy in the 1980's, i had been influenced by a myriad of musical styles....and after the dust settled I had a rather eclectic taste music, as did this guitar player: J.Mascis, singer/songwriter and guitarist of the seminal 80's band "Dinosaur Jr"....His cover of "the Cure" song : "just like heaven" made my decade in the 90's, as "Freakscene" did for me in the 80's....
We all have our own personal soundtracks, and growing up, Dinosaur JR was frequently playing in the background of some my life's happiest and saddest moments.
His acoustic/electric solo gig's are the shit! and with his loop pedal skills he get's the message across to the listener...because of his loop pedal songs I realized that I too could enjoy myself as much as he does while playing "Alone"......

Saturday, February 20, 2010

seige on Leningrad

It's been a little while since I saw a great war movie, and yesterday the wait was over! I discovered a Russian release from 2009 called "Siege on Lenigrad"...a film where the russians spoke russian, germans spoke german, and the english spoke, you know, english.
Mira Sorvino was the lead actor, and she portrayed a british war reporter who got left behind while reporting on the front at Leningrad in 1941.
I won't carry on about this or that, and somehow spoil the film for anyone, i'll just say that this film was different from the ordinary ww2 film, because the heroes were not soldiers, but it portrayed the strength and courage of the woman in Leningrad, including the war reporter...pure and total sacrifice at the most personal level was the message if you ask me.
something that get's lost in time as we inch further and further ahead from those distant memories left deep in the social conscience of our modern world.
It can be downloaded from Metadivx at these links:



Friday, February 19, 2010

Friday's are the best day of my week.....

Every friday finally comes, and even though i don't work a 40hour work week, i start each day when my alarm bell sounds @ 2am, and by friday, i am sick of it all!
So, i leave work with my friend Dave usually around 9:30am, and we drive home, stopping first at my pharmacy, where i run in and pick up my prescription while he generously waits for me, and then we continue on our way into Waterloo's Uptown core, where i live....he drops me off, I quickly change from my grubby work clothes, and stroll down the street to my favorite greasy spoon 1950's vintage diner called "harmony lunch"...i order bacon & eggs & toast with coffee, wolf it down, pay for it, leave a tip and head to my favorite thrift store, called 'generations', which is run by the mennonite council or something like i scored a stage light on a stand for $8....I carried it home, dropped it off and then headed to the town square, where my bank is, and i paid bills, grabbed some groceries, dropped them off at home, and headed back out and down a block to Long & McQuade, my local music gear retail store!!! After lurking around in there for 9 years I have made a couple of friends, whom i saw as soon as i walked in the door.....after talking about guitar amps, and drooling over expensive stuff, my friend Brandon surprised me with a beat up Yamaha JX-15, a solid state workhorse of an amp from 1980....and he just gave it to me, so i bought a can of lube/cleaning spray for $20, and also bought a casio volume control pedal that had been in stock at that store since the 80's at least....i don't know if it will be compatible with my Roland D-20 digital synthesizer keyboard, or my guitar effects loop but heck, for $10 why not try and see?
So i spent a total of $30, walked home with the JX-15 amplifier & the cleaner spray and the casio volume pedal....i really love that place...and it's the people who make it a great place to spend some money!!! I also made my march 2010 payment on my credit line at the store....another 6 months and I owe is good if all that mattered was my studio and my music gear!
a photo of it wasn't hard to find online, someone is selling one for $65 somewhere on craigslist! mine is better looking than this one, not as beat, but this snap shot will do, i don't have the energy to get my camera out! :)
I wish i had never sold my other ones, but life's like that, and sometimes you need the extra loot to cover your butt.
I have owned a Yorkville BassMaster-50, DeanMarkley 25watt bass amp, and a Marshall MS-4 microStack mini i own the ORANGE micro crush, the KIEL regal model-300 tube combo amp, and now the Yamaha JX-15 solid state amp.
My next mission is to settle on powered monitors.
I sold my ART SLA-1(100watt power amp) and my pair of Yorkville Ysm-1 speakers two years ago...
....I wish i didn't have to sell them to pay for stuff, because i would really rather have that set up for my monitoring needs.
But alas, here i am about to invest some dough soon on powered monitors, and I think i will get the new Yorkville powered monitors, YSM-?, i could be wrong about the model name, they are the same as my old speakers, except these come with amplification so i won't need to buy a rackmount power amp again...
I almost bought the Behringer EX-3200, an exciter/enhancer rack unit, for $55, on sale, i already own the earlier model, but I hesitated, because i had to pay bills today.
I am sure it will be around next week though.....when i go through this friday ritual again!
i am outa here, time for some movie marathon madness.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I don't know....

I don't know what I am doing half the time. The other half I am going on instinct, and thankfully my instincts don't completely ruin my life.
I woke up today at 1:30am, silently got ready for work, and was even downstairs 5 minutes early, sipping my coffee and smoking a cigarette..waiting for my friend to pull up across the street and take us to work.
I've followed this routine for 5 years and six months nearly to day. Monday to Friday. But today I barely spoke during the work shift, and didn't get annoyed in any obvious way when people of authority made certain demands that, like always were a waste of time and extra work for me. I just nodded, and did whatever.

My love life is non-existent and today i acted on the advice of the little voice in my head and I am pretty sure It was the right thing to do, but what if It WASN'T???? I don't even want to think about that!!
anyways moving along, my best guy friends live thousands of miles away, and by my age a person has learned that friends like that cannot be replaced, how can I make it work? What do I need to do? I feel like my brain is swelling slowly but consistently pulsing outwards, my temples bulge with anxious tension.
I am imprisoned by my job, reliant on my benefit plan for reasons that are too personal to talk about here and the easy money that keeps me very well above poverty line and leaves me with entire days and early evenings free....but what do I do? I sit here and mess around with blogs for hours, the only productive thing is that i practice electric guitar alot, more than ever, and this gives me something more to do and I keep busy by myself.
Some days are this way, and some years pass by quickly...the past two years have disappeared under the waves, washed away to the back of my mind, a distant memory that seems like a dream.
My head hurts, and I think I better stop starring at the screen.

In parting I'll say: may all your days be prosperous and all your wishes come true!
peace brothers & sisters,
adios bendeco's
I am out.

Monday, February 15, 2010

decisions of consequence (1990)

I have been rooting through bags and boxes of crap i have, sorting the 'garbage' from stuff that i will keep....hopefully i can get back on top of keeping my place habitable again.
I unearthed a stack of journals, and piles of loose paper, on them bore the scribbles and thoughts from my manic youth.
This is a simple & honest journal entry, written in winter 1990 while i lived in an apartment in downtown Oakville,Ontario....

Decisions of Consequence

It was a cold day. The air feels and the sky looked, cold. Walking outside I felt empty. "What should I do?" i thought to myself as I stood outside my door, contemplating the day ahead. Indeed a decision which came with great consequences, but one I should make before I freeze out here!
I begin to walk, alone, down my street towards the main strip two blocks away. A few people were filtering around the street corner. A drug dealer and old people waiting for the bus. A block away I can see the neighborhood foot patrol policeman talking to some guy sitting on the curb.
I turn and head south when i reach the intersection. At the variety store I grab smokes.
Outside, lighting a cigarette, then inhaling as deep as possible, on the exhale i notice my friend Mike sneaking up beside me in a vain attempt to surprise didn't work.
Without words being said, we head downtown, and find warmth within minutes sitting on our stools at 'our' bar.

Mike reaches over and fills two high ball glasses with draft, then while handing me one he drains the other down his throat in seconds flat and proceeds to fill the glass a second time.
Our friend owns and runs the bar, and although refuses to let us have 'free pints', he has no problem with us filling up the smaller 'high ball' glasses, a hundred times daily!
This is Mike's job; pouring draft glasses for the downtown daytime drunks, every town has at least one, a dark & gloomy shithole with patrons ranging from underage kids, to old alcoholic men...
And so, we drink & smoke, and talk for about three hours before I decide that I am drunk, and I should go.
Like a new scene in the movies, moments later i am outside in this ungodly cold. I can see my breath, like smoke exhaling, and my nose is frozen within minutes.
I feel like i am staggering, my head is spinning, round & round. Lately I've been noticing differences in me when i drink.
I figure it must be those pills I take for pain...I just learned that codeine & morphine doesn't mix with booze very well!

I get my stability back and finally make it home.
Slowly I remove my jacket, boots, emptying my pockets on the counter top and climb into my bed.
Laying there within the warmth of my comforter I think to myself; a reflection of my day and have a moment of clarity when I realize that my greatest fault just had to be 'decision making'.
And now I must face the consequences of my actions because I am still unemployed and collecting welfare...leaving me cold, worthless and empty inside.

Isle of Dread...

Between 1995-1999 i was part of a two person Live Electronic music thing.....people called our performances: Live P.a., we didn't call ourselves anything, except :"GYPE", a name that was used hundreds of years ago on ships sailing the seas; "Argggh matey, clean that GYPE off the deck!!!!"
Since our first studio/home was a cheap HouseBoat, parked at 'Fishermans Wharf" in Victoria,Bc, we thought it was an appropriate word to use...there was also a wharf dog, a black Lab who was also named 'Gype'... like i said, the name fit.
We played our first show on jan.2 and 3rd 1996 at the popular hang out on the edge of the inner Harbour called "Zombie's" we loaded our equipment onto a 45 foot beat up yaht that a fellow 'wharf dude' owned and he got us to the inner harbour from the wharf in no time, and our manager 'larry the dread' was waiting with shopping carts to wheel our gear to the gig...and that's how it began...

Our time came to an end in victoria, but not before headlining at a large venue, a concert hall called the 'Phoenix' on Pandora st. on halloween 1998....800 tickets sold, and since it was in the heart of the downtown core, more people showed up at the who knows what the final tally was a night of tribal drumming, paegan dancers, nude & smeared with 'mud'(looked like mud) and various DJ set's with guest dj's from Van.,seattle, san fran & our friends the Philosopher Stone, a funk jam band, and finally 'Gype', and we did our unusual improvised electronic set, begining with a heartbeat, and layers upon layers of sound waves and tones, cut ups, loops and verbal rants...

I rediscovered a live recording from that show, a tune we named "isle of dread", which was a dedicated to our loyal manager who i mentioned above; Larry Dread....who by the way got so drunk and ignorant he was kicked out of every show we ever played...

Sunday, February 14, 2010

St.Valentine's cure

Every year Febuary 14th arrives triggering mass sales of flowers, cards and chocolate...for once in my life i am not going to be critical. I feel pretty darn good, and I don't have a "sweetheart"! So I thought it might be cool to post something that could really help people in the department of 'LOVE'.
So i did some research last night on the ancient musical scale known as the "Solfeggio frequencies"....and keeping with the mood of this day I uploaded a short video of the specific frequency:

LA - 852 Hz - associated with a pure love frequency: unconditional love and returning to Spiritual Order

Perhaps, there is a healing benefit from this, I believe there is. I for one am like the idea of healthy, unconditional love, and spiritual order.
I will continue to introduce other related Aural tone frequency vid's &'Binaural Beats" information to this blog, plus i will have a video tomorrow showing how specific sound frequencies can create 'physical form'....neat stuff.

scroll down to see the 'solfeggio' valentine's day experiment....

Solfeggio Frequencies & Binaural Beats

Along with guitar music and synthesizer based electronic music, during the 1990's while living on SaltSpring Island British Columbia i was introduced to this interesting topic surrounding the ancient Solfeggio Scales & Binaural Beats.

The Solfeggio frequencies are from an ancient musical scale used in ancient music, chants and ceremonies. The Solfeggio tones were believed to enable spiritual blessings and transformation when played or sung in harmony. some genetic biochemists suggest the frequency 528Hz is the repair frequency for damaged DNA.

Regardless, as each note has a different tuning from the conventional musical scale, these tones provide a new stimulus to the mind and body, providing many benefits such as brain plasticity. This keeps the brain young, healthy and active; and as the mind becomes healthy, so too does the physical body.

Solfeggio Hz Meditation is a modern adaptation of the ancient Solfeggio scale, Solfeggio Hz Meditation can be played as ambient music or with stereo headphones, making it a powerful audio healing tool for relaxation, greater personal development and transformation.

Listen to this with stereo headphones for Theta brainwaves

The Solfeggio Scale and note names;
1. UT...396 Hz (Center Pillar of the Tree)
2. RE...417 Hz (Left Pillar of the Tree)
3. MI...528 Hz (Right Pillar of the Tree)
4. FA...639 Hz (Center Pillar of the Tree)
5. SOL...741 Hz (Left Pillar of the Tree)
6. LA...852 Hz (Right Pillar of the Tree)

UT - 396 Hz -associated with releasing emotional patterns after: see RE-417Hz below.

RE - 417 Hz -associated with breaking up crystallized emotional patterns

MI - 528 Hz - relates to crown chakra; some scientists suggest an association with "DNA integrity" Transformation and Miracles

FA - 639 Hz - associated with whole brain quadrant interconnectedness. Connecting Relationships

SOL - 741 Hz - associated with intuitive states, non linear knowing and awakening intuition

LA - 852 Hz - associated with a pure love frequency: unconditional love and returning to Spiritual Order


Here is a great example of how the solfeggio scale can be utilized in ambient trance music the Solfeggio Arpeggio repeats these frequencies 396 417 528 639 741 852 963

The 3 electronic drums used are not frequency pitched to the Solfeggio scale; rather frequency processed, tuned and equalized to be harmonically compatible.
This gives the percussion; a Solfeggio harmonic overtone.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

As the ancient alchemist works in dark hoping to discover the truths of the universe and reveal the light within, I too am caught in the middle of my own personal search, my search for purpose, meaning and belonging.
Sometimes our choices may seem trivial at the time they are made, but like the nature of chaos, all it takes is a butterfly to flap it wings and like a wave in the ocean it doesn't stop until it breaks on a distant shoreline...My wave is still pulsing, unbroken, and in the middle of the ocean called 'my life'. Sometimes it feels like land is close, and maybe it is right in front of me, but then i am faced with a simple choice, to say a word, a gesture, an action, and the effect can be devestating, I just won't realize it for some time.
The trouble is; you can't go back against the current and correct that mistaken choice you made, you have to live with the outcome, even if it leaves you lonely, depressed or even dead.
Opportunity does not always reveal it's face until it's gone, and regret can be devastating, especially if you made a wrong choice which ends up altering your destiny.
I often think that if the theory of reincarnation is true, perhaps, we are reborn again and again, each time confronted with our opportunity to make the right choice, and live out this life surrounded by real love, and that could be the ultimate meaning of life, just real love....and then the wave created can finally break, finding peace on the shore.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

just like heaven....

Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream she said
The one that makes me laugh she said
And threw her arms around my neck
Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
Why are you so far away? she said
Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you
That I'm in love with you

Soft and only
Lost and lonely
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

Soft and only
Lost and lonely
Just like heaven

*This is one of my alltime favorite lyrics, i wish i had written this at one time in my life, when it conveyed exactly how i felt inside......but Robert Smith beat me too it.....and then when "J.Mascis" & "Dinosaur JR." covered it as an encore in concert I nearly flipped my lid......oh, and J.M is right up there with Jimmy Page in my books, what a guitarist! I think the live version kicks the ass off the studio cover that DinoJR put on an album....

My new Ibanez GAX-30[Jewel_Blue] electric guitar....sure it's inexpensive, but it ain't cheap! The spec's are impressive for such a low price($149)cdn.
It is easily 30% lighter in weight than my other old Samick electric....i like the double cut-a-way body, and dark colored fret board....but all of that aside, once i replaced the ultra-light factory installed strings with my usual 'medium-light' "11's" I was amazed at how easy it was to play....nice action, and with dual humbucker pick-ups, the raw tone is huge....My roomate has a 1980 Gibson Sonnex, which he compares this sucker to....
I have it plugged into a 1958 Kiel/velvetone Combo Tube Amplifier via the usual effects chain i like: guitar->eh-Qtron->danelectro Fuzz->mxr-blu-box->boss rc-20XL loop pedal->amplifier.....
I am considering an opportunity to buy a 1963 Gibson Falcon combo tube amp......for $600, just back from our gear tech's work bench, fully restored.....In another ten years a rarity like this could double in value, i don't know yet, but if i do get it, i'll post a pic here.
Enough writing about it, now's a good time to plug in and freak out for a while....

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

how much do I love listening to Kyuss?

So much that I prefer to keep an old little Radio shack "realistic" cassette deck around with an store bought copy of the 1994 masterpiece of an album called "welcome to sky valley" album which begins with 'gardenia'.....there are no words to describe how three dudes can come together and the end result is so much greater than the sum of all its parts......and by the way, my roomate's band is next door playing that exact tune right now!
'odyssey', 'space cadet', 'Supa Scoopa & mighty Scoop', 100degrees(sssssssATAN it's 100degrees and iam on my knees......)What a song! I could go on and on....but i am going let the Kyuss grimey grooves soothe me to sleep.....

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

idle time....

I've got way too much time on my hands lately....up until last year I did alot of studio engineer jobs, all freelance, and that suited me just fine, mainly because it is always a learning experience....working your way through a project, another artists project, where you try and capture the true essence of their performances...After nearly 10 yrs of doing those jobs for money or not, i have become quite pleased with my proficiency within a recording studio...i know that i could walk into any set up, anywhere in the world, and at a moments notice get down to business....
The trouble is though, i was getting bored....i was starting to get annoyed at the prospect of hearing the same songs a thousand times...and i just couldn't put my heart into now I am trying to put all my energy into becoming a guitarist of some sort.
I have 'strummed' acoustic guitar rhythmically for many years, just like campfire stuff, or neil young, and my own acoustic covers of my favorite hardcore ( i play a mean "wasted again" by black flag Cover on my acoustic) But now I want to be able to pick up that electric guitar, and not have to think about what i am playing, just enable the instrument to become an extension of my body, and play it like it's a reflex action...
I can do anything i set my mind to when i am playing with my synthesizers, even though i program my sequencers, firstly i noodle away on the keyboard, and then record the performance into the midi sequencer, and play that back while I noodle further, adding missing notes, or arpeggios...and on and on, layers tones, upon tones, and it usually sounds pretty cool...
Guitar is another situation all together, and I think that's why I have become obsessive about it, neglecting the synths to practice and practice and practice guitar.... Like I have mentioned in previous posts, I always utilize a myriad of electronic effects, both analogue and digital....spending hours, upon hours, of tedious experimentations before I settle on the final sound.
If only i could play wicked riffs like my roomate!
maybe someday.

Monday, February 8, 2010

external forces & my own personal brain damage....

I am home from my job, and you might think that's great, now you can do something you like for the day, but no, I am drained & sucked dry, the level of anxiety in my workplace is like a gigantic soul sucking vampire....and it's not just one or two people who cause the swell of tension, well, in a small way it is two particularly incompetent people...but the tension lasts because of everybody's reaction to those two people's anxiety.
Anyways, that's just the tip of the iceberg, the rest of my life is stable, and I am constantly educating myself, reading new things, I force myself to practice guitar, and I continue to enjoy my synthesizers and tone generators...but that's just hobby stuff.
When I step back and take a closer look at myself, i see a person who is safely tucked away from the world most of the time. I rarely meet new people, and when I do meet a random new person, they haven't really been a person who i would bond with.
My old friends around the country are all asking me to finally come and visit them, and I feel pressure not to be dick....but I am forced to choose who i can visit this year, and that is annoying.....because i have to give excuses to some and make promises to others. Then once i visit, it will suck to have to leave, because when I go home....what is my home?
Well, for one thing, my home is filled with thousands of dollars worth of studio equipment....which amounts to nothing....just a bunch of metal, and electronic stuff.
There is no love, and I can tell when i am lazy about working in my's like "what's the point", i am just killing time....until I die.
Not exactly, that sounds like Iam manic depressive or something.....or something. but what?
Picasso had his muses, and the result was his art.
My memories are faded, but i know that my creative spirit takes gigantic leaps and bounds when my life was different than it is today. Back when I let people into my heart.
I've been in this city for 8-9 years, and for personal reasons, I chose to take some time to learn about who exactly I was, to make some lifestyle changes, which i hoped would be for the better...and I think it's carried away a bit, because today, i struggle with my own self doubt on a daily basis, I know i cannot go on sheltered from the world...I am not benefiting from's crystal clear, because I am such a chicken when it comes to approaching a new person, like a woman i might feel drawn to romantically, and even just as friends....all the let downs in my past have definitely formed a mental barrier... to help me avoid the phonies, and the bull shitters, and i can't forget the time wasters & lies...and to avoid heart-ache.
Maybe I need some heart ache to feel alive again?
Maybe I need to just take a chance on someone, and let them prove my introverted anxious brain wrong?

I would like to find other musical weirdos or sound alchemists who want to collaborate, and have some fun....but even that seems impossible.

Recently I have come face to face with the reality of my mental barriers, where it has taken me a long time to write a stranger an email, on a internet dating site...and even with a computer and the internet between us....I find myself far to nervous to make an impression on anyone other than a doctor.... sure, we all have to overcome our fears....but what the heck am I afraid of, other than things that make a person feel alive....I mean, i've lived through heart break, more than once, and sure it was terrible, and took what at the time seemed like forever to get over....but those experiences were always the ones that make the new good experiences feel so much better!
I am still only scratching at the surface, coming to grips with my feelings is not a simple task.
I don't think men come equipped with that skill, it has to be figured out, the hard way.
I really wish there was some sort of test that people could take that showed whether or not they were a dna compatibility test.
Where it shows that the merger of the two people will produce a relationship that is greater than the sum of its parts.

I should just go crank up my amplifier and cause some hearing damage to myself, maybe that will help me feel alive for the time being.

Anyways, who the hell knows why certain people's influence can trigger a creative avalanche, like in Picasso's case. I don't recall all the names of his muses, oh, there's one....Francois Gilot, i think that's her last name, and of course Pablo had an entire 'period' in his artistic career inspired by his friendship & love for her.

I miss Victoria, just walking downtown, random strangers brush by me, and actually make eye contact, then even say "good morning" with a smile!!!!

That is something which has not happened to me here in southern ontario.

If I said good morning to a stranger, they would probably not know I was saying it to them, because they were looking at the ground, avoiding eye contact.

It's just a different place, different people, basically a different society.
I sure am glad I am going there soon.

Maybe after two weeks in Victoria, and/or Saltspring Island will be the theraputic break I need?
In my perfect world, i would just stay on Saltspring Island, and life would be real again....
Like the year that I lived in an old school bus, that was converted into a mini house, I had a bed, propane stove but no running water, and a wood burning stove for heat.
The days of waking up with the sun, and spending my days doing odd jobs around the island for money, and sketching, painting and writing everyday.
Nearly everybody I knew there was similar to me, creative, and sick of the rat race.
And now, I am here in Southern Ontario, and in 8-9 yrs, I have yet to meet a kindred spirit.
Allright, enough of this, time to make my ears bleed....

Sunday, February 7, 2010

'synthesizer freaks' @facebook!/group.php?gid=19274983848

-during spring & summer 2007 i had alot of free time while off work due to injury, so i thought I would see if there were other obsessed synthesizer twits out there, specifically out there on i started this group: synthesizer freaks
It turns out there are quite a few synth twits on facebook, from all over the world, it is a very multicultural collection of like minded people.


I am hard pressed to say why I have neglected my real music, and only spent time wanking away with a loop pedal and electric guitar... Even as I receive emails from my only fans who happen to be cbc producers out west, I make idle promises to compile some tracks and forward the masters to them, but once I sit down and start messing away, I look at the guitar, and end up twanging away, basically wasting time, every year or so, my flat mate who is a real guitarist compliments me on my progress, so maybe there is some progress...None the less, I waste my web space by uploading improvised snipets of my guitar lesson jams, just to keep the site active and current...but I ignore the stack of multi-track mixes, ready for mixdown and mastering....all of it is electronic and electro-acoustic drum & bass'ish stuff....The fact that I am not prepared to do anything live is holding me back, it's difficult to do a "Live P.A." performance alone, at least that's what's holding me back.
I need to find inspiration...but working a day job for a beastly corporation should be enough of a motivating factor to get me back on track...
Apparently I can make money programming synthesized sounds for people....a friend is encouraging me to consider an offer to do that....we'll see, maybe it would be fun to make money from designing original disturbing tones...
Maybe I should just shut up and get to work!!! Instead of whining about it on my blog that only I read lol(:>p)