no more holidays

....there is no graphic image to represent how the idea of 'no more holidays' makes me feel right now.
i would really like to take a year off work, a year to let the murky water that is my brain, settle, and maybe i could see clearly for at least a moment, and redirect my energy, so at least i could feel something other than 'blah' about my life.
i really don't understand what other people do that is so different than me.
i don't abuse my body with drugs and alcohol, i don't eat bad food....i exercise...but still i can count on one hand the number of times i have actually felt happy, and/or content about myself....
....Before i moved out of the building at 12 king street in waterloo, i could escape with the help of my music machines.....but now in the one bedroom apartment, i have to compromise and only set up some of the machines at one time, and even still, when things are set up and powered up, i don't have enough room to actually leave things like that....so it's a constant pain in my ass....i spend more time setting things up and tearing them down, then actually capturing musical ideas....

THEN, by the time i am in a groove and i lose myself in what i am doing, i look up and it's after 6pm, and i have to think about sleep...because my shit job has me waking up at 2:30AM, and i am at work and punched in by 3:30am.
FML.....
I have been learning the text message shortforms, and FML is my favorite.....if i could get a customized license plate for my bicycle i would like to have 'FML X23'
and that's all i have to say today.

my last week of holiday time from my 'day job' are over, and i must say that last week was the greatest weather so far this summer, despite the humidity....although my dad and i went north a few hours and found the air much less humid, and overall, once in cottage country every aspect of daily life changes.
But now i am back, or 'home'....which means i just worked from 4am - 9am, but that means i woke up at 2:30am, which is always the pits.....and now i am sitting, slightly damp from the light rain outside, drinking a hot coffee, and trying patiently to leech off the 'free' internet at this cafe, long enough to download an episode of an american tv show called 'burn notice', so i can treat myself to at least 45 minutes of new video later today.

Back to work, was to my dismay, worse than i expected....and i harbor rather low expectations when it comes to my workplace.
up until now, i have been content with my work area....but i have taken a holiday, and sure enough, i get back no more than one week later, only to find management has taken a giant step backwards.
what else is new?
FML seems appropriate.

here iam now

I am no longer on the brink of a life change, the change has occured, and i am moving in that new direction.
I handed in my keys last wednesday and so the era of life in uptown waterloo is over officially.
Now i am without internet at home, except for the little phone i bought which has internet browsing, ideal for keeping up to date with email and other social network stuff.
Presently i am sitting in a cafe in waterloo, for the first time i utilized the wifi connectability of my new netbook and proceeded to download a documentary film at blazing speeds up to 750kps !!!

So now i know that i can take advantage of the free wifi in some parts of the cities i live in and near, and even download films.....all for the price of a coffee!!!

And so i become a transient web crawler, and for now i can live with that.

i am very glad i made the decision to buy this netbook, without it, i would be out of luck.

now i just need to find the right cafe that won't mind me moving in for a couple hours at a time while i maintain my music web sites and download movies.
lol....
UPDATE:
Following some web research on wi-fi hotspots around town i now have a list of businesses and public places that have a legal wireless internet connection available.....the verdict isn't in yet though, i don't think i will adapt quickly to life without high speed internet in my apartment....the luxury of movie hunting and quick downloads at home cannot be take for granted....now i am sitting in an uptown waterloo cafe typing blog stuff and downloading the new release "the runaways", a cool looking movie about joan jett and her friends band in the 1970's....i sometimes like movies like this that are about music and based on real people.
i just don't know how i am going to sit here and stay amused for "42minutes" or more while i try and leach this movie via this cafe's wi-fi connection.
I don't even know if these businesses appreciate people downloading 700mb video files....perhaps i am hogging bandwidth....we'll see....there is only one other fellow using the network at this time.
i just wish the darn thing would accelerate any time now, like at the hotel cafe the other day, a movie downloaded via video.google.com at speeds over 730kb/s !!!!!!!!
it only took me 10 minutes to relax while the flick transfered to my computer.

my home studio is looking up, yesterday i set up my Roland mc-909 and my Roland cdx-1 disc-lab, and i re-organized the electric guitar effects & amplifier set-up, so now i can program midi sequences & drum patterns, utilize the sp-808 sampler as well as the newer mc-909 sampler for some really slick backing rhythm tracks to play and layer guitar on top of.
fun wow.

*36minutes remain in my download @the uptown waterloo cafe...if it wasn't a busy place i bet i would be happier to sit here....like the other one at the Huether hotel, where i could sit in a corner of a back room and use the internet from there.
perhaps i should have gone there today....but this place is beside the grocery store....speaking of which....i also have two bags of groceries, one has 4 frozen chicken fried rice side dishes, and one large yogurt....i hope that they don't completely thaw, if so, then it could cost me $5 to sit here and download movies after all....oh, and the two coffee's i will have drank by the time i am finished.